question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
