Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
