I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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