my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
