If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
