please come you make the beer taste better
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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