i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I will pee on everything he values.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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