the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Do vagina's smell?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
