i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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