Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
