So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
