Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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