Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just want nice things and good sex
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Randomize
