Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
