I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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