I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
