We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
