Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
the condom got lost in my hair
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
