We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
