There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
