This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
