she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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