We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
