Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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