Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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