How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
