he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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