idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
