Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
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