They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
