So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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