i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
