I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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