why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
