Cold hands, warm shart.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
