I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
