I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
