I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize