apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
