no. you can't hotbox the world.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
