Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
