Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
