I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
