and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
