I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
