Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
