hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
too bad you live with your parents still
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
