2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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