Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
