at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize