Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
