So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
