Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
