i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
