I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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