ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Sext me about skeletons
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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