i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
