and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
